I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The power of my boobs compel you
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
