He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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