i think my mom watched the whole time
this beer tastes like vomit already
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize