i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Sorry my hands just texted you
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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