I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
jump out the window naked night went bad
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