Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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