You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
