I wanna bring you to show and tell
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
