His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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