oh fat girl friday strikes again...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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