This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
