Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
