Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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