I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize