how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
