im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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