you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
