just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
