I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
