just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
