"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
