thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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