I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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