You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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