kristin has been a bad kristin
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Randomize
