Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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