You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
