im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
