woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
