I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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