There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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