theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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