oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
They are going to name an STD after you.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
