you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
