we have pet lesbian snakes
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
