Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
