Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You're like the curious george of whores
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
