i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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