In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize