also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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