We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
