We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We just shotgunned beers for America
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
