Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
