i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
