he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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