HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
she pinky promised me she was 18
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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