Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
