onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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