I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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