There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
