this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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