I'm going to jail i love you
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize