If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
