JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
