Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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