i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
