Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
too bad you live with your parents still
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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