He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
